What is it about commitment that scares the hell out of people? Is it the idea that we are going to be chained into something we may lose faith in? Or is it the misconception that we are not going to be able to be free to be ourselves? I have wondered about this off and on. I remember fondly as a child I was the one who wanted to grow up and get married and have a family with a bunch of little ones running around. I found as I got older thats not the case atleast the bunch of little ones aspect of it.. I think the most I would want is one or two thats about all I think I could handle if I could even handle that much..lol
But alas I too have commitment issues, it is not that I have not had the opportunity to date and create something possibly magical, something always held me back. I think it is my faith in the idea that things are going to remain as loving and embracing forty years down the road, because in my heart I know thats crap. But by all means I know there are exceptions to this but as I look around at some of the aging people I know, my parents and their friends that marriage doesnt age well and thats a frightening thought when thinking about getting into a serious relationship.
I think thats why I put the kibosh on any potential relationship subconsiously because maybe I know I am not made for that life, I dont want to believe that but that just might be the way it is. I should have been one of those guys who has a friend with benefits kinda deal with that understanding and respect between both parties to take care of my more carnal needs but unfourtunately thats not in my blood.
So I have two choices, I can live a lonesome life where I basically do what I want and not worry about the consquences or I can find a woman who can actually put up with me.. Sheesh talk about narrowing it down..lol
